Read time: 5 minutes
The pressure to always appear strong and productive is deeply ingrained in Filipino culture. Phrases like “tiis lang” or “kaya mo ‘yan” (just endure it, you can do it) are often used to encourage perseverance. However, while resilience is admirable, this mindset can make it incredibly challenging for Filipino families to openly discuss mental health issues or consider therapy as a viable solution.
If you’re struggling to bring up the topic of therapy with loved ones or grappling with overwhelming expectations, this guide offers insights into challenging these stigmas, starting honest conversations, and creating a more open environment for emotional well-being within Filipino families.
Understanding the ‘Toxic Productivity’ Mindset
Why Productivity is a Source of Pride
Filipino society celebrates hard work as a virtue. The concept of “sipag at tiyaga” (hard work and perseverance) has long been the foundation of how success is measured. For many, staying busy is seen not only as a personal achievement but also as a way to uphold family pride. This cultural framework leaves little room for rest and self-reflection, often leading individuals to suppress their emotions to avoid appearing weak.
When ‘Tiis Lang’ Becomes Harmful
The phrase “tiis lang” is often used as a catchall response for hardships, reinforcing the idea that enduring struggles without complaint is a sign of strength. While this mentality can encourage grit, it also discourages seeking help, even when one’s mental health begins to deteriorate. For those who persist under this mindset, it becomes all too easy to disregard their emotional needs, leading to anxiety, depression, or burnout.
Breaking the Stigma Around Therapy in Filipino Families
The Root of the Stigma
Limited Awareness: Many Filipino families view therapy as something exclusive to extreme cases or as a last resort.
Fear of Judgment: Admitting to mental health struggles can be perceived as shameful or disruptive to a family’s social image.
Cost Concerns: Therapy is often seen as expensive, discouraging families from considering it as an option.
These factors perpetuate the notion that seeking mental health support is unnecessary at best and a sign of weakness at worst.
Starting Conversations About Counselling and Therapy
Opening up about mental health support in a culture that leans heavily on tiis lang can be intimidating, but it’s a crucial first step toward breaking the stigma. Here are practical strategies to help you start those conversations.
1 Normalise Mental Health Discussions
Begin by sharing your thoughts and emotions openly with family members. Explain that mental health is just as important as physical health and requires attention and care. For example, you might say:
“I’ve been feeling a bit stressed lately, and I think it’s affecting how I focus and connect with others. I’m considering talking to someone to help me manage these feelings better.”
2 Educate Without Judgment
Use simple, relatable examples to explain the benefits of receiving mental health support. For instance, you could compare therapy to consulting a doctor for an injury:
“When we have a fever, we see a doctor. It’s the same when we feel overwhelmed – sometimes we need someone trained to help us heal.”
Make it clear that seeking mental health support is not about blaming anyone or airing ‘dirty laundry.’ Instead, it’s about gaining tools to improve mindset and relationships.
3 Share Stories of Progress
If you or someone you know has had positive experiences with counselling or therapy, share those stories. Personal accounts can help demystify the process and reassure loved ones that therapy is safe and effective.
4 Address Financial Concerns
Highlight affordable or accessible options, like online platforms or community-focused services such as Pinoy Therapy, which caters specifically to Filipino needs. Discussing these resources can make mental health support seem more approachable and less financially daunting.
Tips to Foster Open Conversations
Creating an environment where mental health is a welcomed topic may take time, but small steps can create lasting change.
Use Empathetic Language: Avoid phrases that dismiss emotions, such as “Ang arte mo” (you’re being dramatic). Instead, respond with understanding and validation, such as, “I see that you’re struggling. How can I help?”
Encourage Questions: Invite family members to ask about therapy and address any misconceptions they may have, like thinking it’s only for the mentally ill.
Set an Example: Be open about your own efforts to improve mental health, whether it’s attending counselling or therapy sessions, practicing mindfulness, or adopting stress-reducing habits.
The Role of Pinoy Therapy
Support Tailored to Filipino Cultural Context
Pinoy Therapy provides culturally sensitive mental health services designed to address the unique challenges faced by Filipinos. Our team understands the deep-rooted values that shape Filipino family dynamics and offers guidance that aligns with these principles.
Services Offered
Stress and anxiety management
Individual, couples and family mental health support
Practical tips for balancing productivity and mental well-being
If you or someone you know feels overwhelmed, reaching out to a service like Pinoy Therapy can be a pivotal step toward healing and emotional growth.
Final Thoughts
Shifting the narrative from “tiis lang” to emotional openness is not only necessary; it’s life-changing. Counselling and therapy is not a sign of weakness but rather a powerful tool to help individuals and families thrive.
Start the conversation today. Encourage your loved ones to see mental health support as a way to strengthen, not diminish, their resilience. And remember, seeking professional help like that offered by Pinoy Therapy is an act of courage and self-love.
Your mental well-being matters, and it’s never too late to take the first step toward better balance and healing.
